how long has it been ???

I'm listening to Kings of Leon songs again,

then I looked at the dates and was surprised when I realised it was 8 years ago that I first hear them!

I was in the middle of high school. So much has happened since then.

I clearly remember Kings of Leon being very popular at that time here, and I absolutely loved 'Revelry'!  Ofcourse I would, listen to it and it's like you could so easily drift off into a dream.

I wish I could go back::: Life is Strange ending

Okay first of all this girl sounds good, and kind of like Chloe:

moving on haha,

Some people have said that Max got her powers for the purpose of experiencing that wish we all have when someone dear to us has passed away.
'What if I could just go back and'  do whatever it is we felt we could have done to stop things from happening.

I don't really care for how she got her powers, or exactly why, but this perspective really got to me.

Okay I'm gonna talk about L now.
She was a wonderful amazing woman who I believed did many things in her time that was very tough for other women to do.  I only realised some amazing things about her after she passed away, but despite this I still felt the same as when it happened.
I grew up around around a lot of religious beliefs and people in touch with their spirituality,
so when L passed away I was able to calm myself down surprisingly quick.  I was very speechless though.  I got a call and when the message was delivered i could only whisper a very choked okay after a few seconds.  My tears were already falling, i couldn't speak, and i hung up as fast as i could. But the first thing that popped into my head as i walked back to my room was 'why did i do this, why did i do that.  if only i could go back and not be such a selfish person'.
L did pass from natural causes, but I had just spent 3 full months with her.  We had gone to aid her in her time of need, because other more responsible people were not doing their role.  Also we had been seperated for too long and she had been wanting us back for a long time.  Even now I find out things about other people who were there that disgust me, and i want to go back to somehow make up for their wrongs (and prevent L's death).  I was still a teen, and you know how they always put education above everything, well i decided to leave after 3 months because i was afraid school would not let me back in next year.  I was happy to leave, I had been craving my normal life among other things.  A week after i got back home, she passed away in hospital, without us.  I only went to meet some unimportant school staff who said the 3 months away didn't really matter.  I felt like i had pointlessly left L for something that didn't really matter.  I had been so pointlessly afraid only to be told there was no point.  At her hospital bed, she only passed after being able to contact one person, who then passed the message on to me.
My regret of leaving only a week before her passing was with me for a long time!  Until recently i only realised what my regret was.  I always wished I was there with her, either so she would have us by her side, or so she wouldn't pass away so quick.  I also wanted to go back so I could be  a better person with her.  Because I was dumb I didn't quite realise how ill she was, and I didn't make much of an effort around her. I acted in typical 16 year old ways, and didn't appreciate the time while i was with her.  All i did want at  the time was to go shopping, eat out, be prettier, be popular, trick boys, etc. Everything besides be by her side, despite being in the same house.
I still miss L very much and I wish I could have spent more time with her, learning more about her.  Just simply being by her side more.   Even though I accepted her passing, I have still broken down countless times with the feeling of wanting to go back.  But now I've gotten ever that feeling.  Even if i did go back, she probably would still have passed.  I probably would have regretted other things instead.  There's nothing I can do about it and I'm gonna have to live with that. I'll just have to remember the times when I was right by her side, and remember the wonderful woman she was.

Even though the game touches many emotions, and i am kind of obsessed with it, I am pretty okay. I'm glad I haven't had any down moments recently (unless when it comes to school work), or I would be messed up as fuk and probably wouldn't even have played the game.  My year came of to a happy start so i think it's gonna last a while.  The crack vids i've seen have pretty much gotten me over the sad stuff.

Lists::: Music right now

Just a list of some music I've listened to recently (that i can remember)
nothing particularly new
just what i've played the past few days
and not in any particular order
---

Cotton Fields - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Hideaway - CCR ^
I'd rather go blind - Etta James
True Colors - Cyndi Lauper
I need a Woman - Hockey Dad
Beach House - Hockey Dad
Love und Romance - The Slits
Love Hurts - Joan Jett v.
You don't own me - Lesley Gore, and lots of other versions
Boss Ass Bitch ! - PTAF
Musings of the Tide - Pageants
Lorraine - Blue Angel
Two can have a party - Tammi Terrell solo v.
Love child - Diana Ross
Crimson & Clover - Joan Jett
We are the people - Empire of the Sun
Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac
Done with you - Shannon and the Clams
Sleep Talk - Shannon...
Rubber Band - Trammps


I have a regular set of albums, so some of these I've listened to for a LONG time.
but not on repeat though,
I hate doing that to a song unless i'm really in the same mood as the song